Monday, May 18, 2009

An Empty Nest

A few days after my last post, the downturn in the economy hit home when my daughter's company decided to do some summer lay-offs....my daughter's position was one of those that has been given a "summer vacation." She is very excited to have the summer off with her children. She has always worked and her little ones have been in my care each summer. And I am happy for her, knowing how much fun she is in for...
except---
I first became a Mamaw 10 years ago. When I began taking care of our Grands, our youngest daughter was still living at home. So that means--the nest is empty.
Really and truly empty.
And---
I.
Don't.
Like.
It.
Please don't get me wrong...I am happy for my daughter. First, because she and her husband are in the position where she can wait out this storm, and not hurry out to find another job right now. Second, I know how much she is going to enjoy being at home to care for her children throughout the summer.
But--selfishly-I do miss them terribly. And yes, (selfish, again) I do get to see them; they don't live that far away. Yet, I hate to pop in too often and upset the rhythm of my girl's home.
So........
I've cross stitched a little, scrapbooked some, and have been shining lights onto dark corners in my home that haven't had a whole lot of attention in awhile-Spring cleaning is in full swing at Bear Creek!

It is different.
It is getting better.
Any other empty-nesters about? Are there any tried and true ways to make this time truly feel better?
I think I'll grab another cup of coffee......

6 comments:

Farm Chick Paula said...

Bless your heart, Pam... this has to be quite an (unpleasant) adjustment for you!
I remember summertime when I was young my Mom took my brother and I took our grandparents house for lunch every Monday... maybe you could talk to your daughter about having a standing appointment for a lunch date at least once a week? I'm sure this wouldn't be an intrusion on them at all!

Cathy ~ Tadpoles and Teacups said...

Blessings to all. Sometimes the sweetest days come after a storm. :)

Kathleen from Eggs In My Pocket said...

Oh, bless your heart! But you still have the honorable title of Grandma! Blessings,Kathleen

a portland granny said...

I hope you adjust really soon to peace, quiet, no expectations, relaxing during the day if you want to, and catching up on all of your reading and things you enjoy doing!

Seriously, it is a strange feeling to wake up and know there is no one there but two adults. I know you will see your little ones off and on and how nice for them to have their Mom home for the summer...and how nice for them, you are there for them when the Mom has to work. Sounds like a wonderful arrangement for the children.

Wish you were closer. We could go out to lunch!! That is something I have so enjoyed as my responsibilities lessened.

Julie said...

Oh, Miss Pam....

I'm so sorry. Even though, I'm not there, yet - I feel like I can understand what you're going through.

We had our children 5 years apart for 2 reasons (maybe 3):
1st - Because it was the desire in my heart to get to know each of my children, as thouroughly as possible, during those first formative years and throughout their lives to be able to "catch" and absorb each milestone, individually (such as potty training, braces, drivers license, etc...)
2nd -- Because God said so (I'm pretty sure that HE was the one who put the desire in my heart in the first place!)
And 3rd -- (on a more selfish note) so that I would always have one of my babies or babies' babies to take care of.

When I'm upset with myself for not finishing (or even starting) projects that I really want done, my husband says, "One day, you'll have time to do those things" and I begin to cry and tell him to please not remind me.

I just have to tell you, you are the sweetest and most thoughtful mother and grandmother. Even now, when you so desperately want to see your grandbabies, you're thinking of how you don't want to interrupt your daughter's schedule.
I pray that I'll be as sensitive when the time comes. You really are more of an inspiration than you know, Sweet Pam.

I'm sure that your grandbabies are missing you more than you know and would love to have at least one sleepover a week -- and your daughter and her hubby might like to have a date night (even if they just rent a movie and have a pizza). Check with them, I know that our little family would love to be so blessed to have loving grandparents in our lives.

Many Blessings,
Julie

Lei B. said...

My heart goes out to you. Not having the little ones there is the hardest thing to adjust to. Going back to work was impossibly hard for me because I missed my little boy every day and I disliked the fact that someone other than me was getting to play with him every day. But sometimes things just are the way they are and with time it will get better. I wish I had some great tips or words of wisdom, but I don't. I just know how it feels - never think that you are alone. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!